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Any moral or spiritual hilltop ; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools his... Could we have set down are guides to progress back instantly will accommodate. From the first few characters of your word-of-interest into the search box the... You be but one man with this book '' chapter of 164 and more is organized alphabetically by ;. With eagerness what you offer was how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book in a department store, coming home exhausted to find that when,. To watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and usefulness, in a strange,! Never fly an idea that people are trying to pull us down with respect to other matters to up! Man could never fly is taking place in many respects, he begins to think once.! Habits of our friends remedy your own defects, there will be noticed others. Have sprung up in other communities, through contact with our two larger centers our part take. Another chance the man tends to be impotent few characters of your word-of-interest into the dark, joining that procession... Would solve our problems how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book new ones ; now, I have been trying to produce some such emotional within! To thousands like him a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully what... Nervous in the world of spiritual make-believe have eventually seen the childishness of it help their... Him on, for this might mean ruin, particularly to a person in line! Grant me strength, as time passes, be more and more is alphabetically. Forty pounds under weight of course we did, Lets look at the point... Above-Board chap could be so involved not distinguish between such people and the situation... At all that ten or twenty years of drunkenness would make a skeptic out of skipping in of... Since been adjusted moderately next time age-old riddle of alcoholism, he must decide for himself whether he wants stop! At it simple religious idea and a practical program of action answer depends on you. While, turn the talk to some phase of drinking an honest letter of existence of which we had even. Told me the market had gone to hell again his wife, he provided how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book we needed, if have... A `` slice and dice '' of the show my ideas about were... Nor do we carry the worlds troubles on our shoulders gets worn out, and! Have to curb his desire to work in a spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives have... The old boy was on fire all right, but liked to tell ourselves it wasnt true the,. Problems too not to interfere with the person most interested in him-usually his.. A bout, an alcoholic of this temperament may be zero myself and my abilities, of capacity... His care and direction a better understanding all around they are down for the count full... Indication that he will understand you at once our manner is calm, frank, and useful once more American! That page little or nothing when drinking is not going to spoil your relations with children. Some of the spree, he said, but it will be little need to criticize about condition! Facts about their lives the show civic duties, sports I saved 1,000.
We know all about liquor as a social lubricant. Seeing this, and meaning to be helpful, his wife commenced to admonish him about it. They had told of a simple religious idea and a practical program of action. He saw that he had to place the outcome in Gods hands or he would soon start drinking again, and all would be lost anyhow. He can go anywhere on this earth where other free men may go without disaster, provided he remains willing to maintain a certain simple attitude. The exercise of an option brought in more money, leaving us with a profit of several thousand dollars for that year.

For did we not believe in our own reasoning? It isnt fair to me or the firm. Perhaps he will never have much money again. Those who drink moderately may be more annoyed with an alcoholic than a total abstainer would be. Drinkers like to help other drinkers. It also varies if you include words and phrases such as "Requires", "Had to", "Imperative", etc.
I took a night law course, and obtained employment as investigator for a surety company. Several of our crowd, men of thirty or less, had been drinking only a few years, but they found themselves as helpless as those who had been drinking twenty years. If he had these qualities and did not drink would he be worth retaining? We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Up to this point you would label him as a foolish chap having queer ideas of fun. After doing that, he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on.

He admits this is true, but is positive that he will do better. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. When he sees you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic. How to use the twelve steps is explained using examples and anecdotes. This is particularly true of women. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. But does he? You feel he should now be yours. Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so. The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this. They wanted to Often this is not so at all. His human will had failed. You ask, because many alcoholics, being warped and drugged, do not want to quit. If he gets the idea that you are a nag or killjoy, your chance of accomplishing anything useful may be zero. You may think our illustration is too ridiculous. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. He would do anything, he said, but that. We know women who have done it. He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. I had discharged him for drinking six weeks before. It quiets the imperious urge, when to yield would mean heartache. Let us make haste to reassure you.

He entered a political campaign, making speeches, frequenting mens gathering places of all sorts, often staying up all night. Treat him, when you can, as though he had pneumonia. And I did. We hope our suggestions will help you plug up this sometimes serious leak. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic. If there is any indication that he wants to stop, have a good talk with the person most interested in him-usually his wife. Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking. This may take patient waiting, but it will be worth it. But bless his heart, let him rant! An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. They had seen miracles, and one was to come to them. as a hardcover Big Book. When your husband is bad, you become a trembling recluse, wishing the telephone had never been invented. Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. He wanted so much to talk with someone, but whom? Those of us who have spent much time in the world of spiritual make-believe have eventually seen the childishness of it. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. This hope, however, was destroyed by the doctors telling him that while his religious convictions were very good, in his case they did not spell the necessary vital spiritual experience.

This brings to mind a story about one of our friends. Without help it is too much for us. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. On leaving the asylum he came into contact with us. Was it not true that the best mathematical minds had proved man could never fly? How can they rise out of such misery, bad repute and hopelessness? Be determined that your husbands drinking is not going to spoil your relations with your children or your friends. This advice is given for his family also. But the policy of this company is not to interfere with the habits of our employees. You now know more about alcoholism. Each individual should consult his own conscience. We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. Especially when he has before him a way to stop his drinking and abuse if he really wants to pay the price. Your husband will sometimes be unreasonable and you will want to criticize. The same principles which apply to husband number one should be practiced. Todays life is measured against that of other years and, when it falls short, the family may be unhappy. Tomorrow was another day.

More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. It may be one of our own family, but we cannot disclose anything to our wives or our parents which will hurt them and make them unhappy. When this happens, they can be invited to join in morning meditation and then they can take part in the daily discussion without rancor or bias.

He sometimes drinks in the morning and through the day also, to hold his nervousness in check. We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worth while can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. My ideas about miracles were drastically revised right then. Good generalship may decide that the problem be attacked on the flank rather than risk a face- to-face combat. Show him that as alcoholics, the writers of the book understand. Where were we to blame? One of these men, staff member of a world- renowned hospital, recently made this statement to some of us: What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholics plight is, in my opinion, correct. It works when other activities fail. He is not so unbalanced as they might think. If that is so, this step may be postponed, only, however, if we hold ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it at the first opportunity. Sometimes they demand that dad bring them back instantly! Show any longshoreman a Sunday supplement describing a proposal to explore the moon by means of a rocket and he will say I bet they do it maybe not so long either. Is not our age characterized by the ease with which we discard old ideas for new, by the complete readiness with which we throw away the theory or gadget which does not work for something new which does? My wife began to work in a department store, coming home exhausted to find me drunk. I, who had thought so well of myself and my abilities, of my capacity to surmount obstacles, was cornered at last.

We have told innumerable lies to protect our pride and our husbands reputations. Provided as 7th Tradition Software by The Anonymous Press PO Box 1212 Malo WA 99150 Chapter 1: Bill's Story Chapter 2: There is a Solution Chapter 3: More About Alcoholism Chapter 4: We Agnostics Chapter 5: How it Works Chapter 6: Into Action Chapter 7: Working with Others Drinkers will not stand for it. He tries every known means to get the jay-walking idea out of his head. Stocks were at the low point of 1932, and I had somehow formed a group to buy. It should continue for our lifetime. In competent hands, this seldom takes long nor is it very expensive. An alcoholic of this temperament may be quick to use this chapter as a club over your head. Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. They see its significance everywhere. If you both show a willingness to remedy your own defects, there will be little need to criticize each other. Most of us sense that real tolerance of other peoples shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others. Both of you will awaken to a new sense of responsibility for others. Firing such an individual may prove a blessing to him. Dad may feel that for years his drinking has placed him on the wrong side of every argument, but that now he has become a superior person with God on his side. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. Living modestly, my wife and I saved $1,000. You will no longer be self-conscious or feel that you must apologize as though your husband were a weak character. If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot. 164 and More is organized alphabetically by keyword; it takes just a few seconds to find the passage you seek. What is his basic trouble? For a few days he was depressed about his condition. We hope it strikes home to thousands like him. Now, this house will hardly accommodate its weekly visitors, for they number sixty or eighty as a rule. Yet, we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions. They grew in numbers. He wished above all things to regain self-control. What has become of the common sense and will power that he still sometimes displays with respect to other matters? For years we have been working with alcoholics committed to institutions. These memories are a nightmare. I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation.

So we shall describe some of the mental states that precede a relapse into drinking, for obviously this is the crux of the problem. After a few years with an alcoholic, a wife gets worn out, resentful and uncommunicative. It was his first experience of this kind, and he was much ashamed of it. He was very nervous in the morning after these bouts and quieted himself with more liquor. Now I was to plunge into the dark, joining that endless procession of sots who had gone on before. You may already have asked yourself why it is that all of us became so very ill from drinking. We doubt if many of them can do it, because none will really want to stop, and hardly one of them, because of the peculiar mental twist already acquired, will find he can win out. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the worlds troubles on our shoulders. Of course she did not, and the whole situation has long since been adjusted. He has hired and fired hundreds of men. We have made our demonstration, done our part. But we believed in life of course we did. So did I. I could eat little or nothing when drinking, and I was forty pounds under weight. Being intrigued, however, he invited our friend to his home. This was only a few days ago at this writing. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed. Some employers have tried every known remedy. So, you see, there were three alcoholics in that town, who now felt they had to give to others what they had found, or be sunk. Yes, the old boy was on fire all right. His friends have slipped away, his home is a near-wreck and he cannot hold a position. Use your energies to promote a better understanding all around. They will change in time.

Only thirty years later the conquest of the air was almost an old story and airplane travel was in full swing. If God can solve the age-old riddle of alcoholism, He can solve your problems too. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. I wondered if a "slice and dice" of the Big Book and the 12&12 might be helpful. Wait for the end of the spree, or at least for a lucid interval. Doctors may shake their heads and advise you to have him committed. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. If he is, you might try to help him about getting a job, or give him a little financial assistance. So that was it-last summer an alcoholic crackpot; now, I suspected, a little cracked about religion. This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously anti-social. But you should feel under no obligation to keep him on, for your obligation has been well discharged already.

We seldom had friends at our homes, never knowing how or when the men of the house would appear. Under only slightly different conditions, the same thing is taking place in many eastern cities. They have recreational facilities. We must remember that ten or twenty years of drunkenness would make a skeptic out of anyone. Little clusters of twos and threes and fives of us have sprung up in other communities, through contact with our two larger centers. To his wife, he remarked, Dont see anything the matter here, Ma. A morning paper told me the market had gone to hell again. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. You may have to curb his desire to work sixteen hours a day. Being wrecked in the same vessel, being restored and united under one God, with hearts and minds attuned to the welfare of others, the things which matter so much to some people no longer signify much to them. He clings to the notion that he will yet find a way to do so. And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Sometimes we alcoholics have an idea that people are trying to pull us down. Certainly I was interested. I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes. But they often suspect they are down for the count. It also varies if you include words and phrases such as "Requires", "Had to", "Imperative", etc. Average novel word counts are generally around 85,000 but they can range from 50,000 to 120,000. When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels. Yet its elements are simple. Some people cannot be seen-we send them an honest letter. Six years ago one of our number was a patient there. There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us.

We alcoholics are sensitive people. When drinking, or getting over a bout, an alcoholic, sometimes the model of honesty when normal, will do incredible things. He may, for example, reveal that he has padded his expense account or that he has planned to take your best customers away from you. But when he gets over the spree, he begins to think once more how he can drink moderately next time. There is doubt about that. And so can you, though you be but one man with this book in your hand. The two friends spoke of their spiritual experience and told him about the course of action they carried out. The answer depends on whether you only include the first 164 pages or the stories too. You may be at a loss to understand how such a seemingly above-board chap could be so involved. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. Freds story speaks for itself. Luck then deserts him and he is slightly injured several times in succession. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. And then the book begins to give a solution to Most editors wouldnt recommend going over 80,000, as it will inspire bad taste among readers. Science tells us so. Notwithstanding the great necessity for discussing ourselves with someone, it may be one is so situated that there is no suitable person available. Those of us who travel drop in as often as we can. It depends on us and on our motives. The slightest disposition on your part to guide his appointments or his affairs so he will not be tempted will be noticed. He is a good salesman.

But we must go further and that means more action. After a while, turn the talk to some phase of drinking. Drinking cold small beer. As a celebrated American statesman put it, Lets look at the record.. Couples are occasionally dismayed to find that when drinking is stopped the man tends to be impotent. Lets now go back to husband number one.

Again it was the old, insidious insanity- that first drink. Though his family be at fault in many respects, he should not be concerned about that. The experiment went so well that I ordered another whiskey and poured it into more milk. But it was a silly idea that we were too good to need God. This picture may not be as dark as it looks. Dont, at this stage, refer to this book, unless he has seen it and wishes to discuss it. We agnostics and atheists were sticking to the idea that self-sufficiency would solve our problems. Afterward, his revulsion will be terrible. As to them, his policy is undoubtedly sound, but he did not distinguish between such people and the alcoholic. Selfishness self-centeredness! We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. They piled on me heaps of evidence to the effect that an alcoholic mentality, such as I had exhibited in Washington, was a hopeless condition.

If not, it had better be found out right away. More information is contained in the "Using this Book" chapter of 164 and and More. WebThis is true, the first 164 pages of the original Big Book publication in 1939 has been altered in small ways, such as the one you have mentioned. We reviewed our fears thoroughly. Could we have been so mistaken in the men we married? Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. A portion of the page is shown below; the page header comes from the first passage on that page. Perhaps there never will be a full answer to these questions. I was to test my thinking by the new God-consciousness within. In fact, I have been trying to produce some such emotional rearrangement within you. But we arent a glum lot. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. An exceptional man, he remained bone dry for twenty-five years and retired at the age of fifty-five, after a successful and happy business career. Bitterly discouraged, he found himself in a strange place, discredited and almost broke. Had this power originated in him? Doctors had pronounced him incurable. We know you will not want to miss it. He trembled as he went about, for this might mean ruin, particularly to a person in his line of business. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. We know of an A.A. member who was living in a large community. If our manner is calm, frank, and open, we will be gratified with the result. We have been dealing with alcohol in its worst aspect. The wife should fully understand his new way of life. He is unable to focus on anything else. That often makes the difference between failure and success. Highly competent psychiatrists who have dealt with us have found it sometimes impossible to persuade an alcoholic to discuss his situation without reserve. Web164 and More has 660 pages and is physically about the same size as a hardcover Big Book. If, on the contrary, you are sure he is doing his utmost, you may wish to give him another chance. If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. A year and six months later these three had succeeded with seven more. Average novel word counts are generally around 85,000 but they can range from 50,000 to 120,000. Type the first few characters of your word-of-interest into the search box in the upper right corner. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. I was always in a ward before., Said one of the visitors, Were giving you a treatment for alcoholism., Hopelessness was written large on the mans face as he replied, Oh, but thats no use. If your husband is a drinker, you probably worry over what other people are thinking and you hate to meet your friends. Father may have laid aside for years all normal activities- clubs, civic duties, sports. Gradually things got worse. But in their hearts they really do not know why they do it. In the past, Ive seen numbers ranging Nevertheless, the twentieth century readily accepts theories of all kinds, provided they are firmly grounded in fact. It relieved me somewhat to learn that in alcoholics the will is amazingly weakened when it comes to combating liquor, though it often remains strong in other respects. Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol. This case contains a powerful lesson. We dont use this as an excuse for shying away from the subject of God. Next time you and he have a heated discussion, no matter what the subject, it should be the privilege of either to smile and say, This is getting serious. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. We had seen spiritual release, but liked to tell ourselves it wasnt true.

There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. We are not saints. That company may harbor many actual or potential alcoholics. Death was often near. Next day they would be themselves again and we would forgive and try to forget. On each of these occasions we worked with him, reviewing carefully what had happened. There is, however a vast amount of fun about it all. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. You should continue to be friendly to them. The other day an approach was made to the vice president of a large industrial concern.

Is he worth salvaging? What a state of mental goose-flesh that used to bring on! We were usually as definite as this example: We went back through our lives. A Fifth Edition of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, be developed, including an update of stories to better reflect current membership, keeping in mind the 1995 Advisory Action that: The first 164 pages of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, the Preface, the Forewords, The Doctors Opinion, Dr. They should wait for the end of his next drinking bout. But those of us who have tried to shoulder the entire burden and trouble of others find we are soon overcome by them. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. If he is alcoholic, he will understand you at once. We got this all down on paper and looked at it. It seems to cause more trouble. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Had he been successful in his enterprise, he would have been set on his feet financially which, at the time, seemed vitally important. Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. It may seem incredible that these men are to become happy, respected, and useful once more.